monalavie: (brofist)
[personal profile] monalavie
Sooo, I love cuddling. I do, I love touching, spooning, curling up with my head in someone's lap, but haven't gotten to do it with any straight guys so far while I've been here at college. But that's ok, because Brady is an amazing spooner, and no strings attached, hahaha. He's good to watch a horror movie with. 

Anyway, my friend Alif likes another one of my friends, but last night he just ends up being really, really intimate, which is unlike him, finding excuses left and right to just kind of curl up into me. I was on the ground, hugging him with the scruff of his beard nestled into my neck, both really quiet, and I just felt really sick with some kind of longing all of a sudden. It was just so nice to be held by someone. 

And now I'm feeling a little weird around him, even though he's in all honesty no more than my bro. I feel weird when I think of him as anything more, a little uncomfortable, almost like it's incestuous. Our newest project involves him as a sad clown and me a broken doll, and we sing to each other. And I feel a little strange when I think about it again. 

Meh. Phase. Will pass. At least now I have a cuddle-buddy. YAYZ.

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